"Some Instructions on Writing and Life"

It is always a sweet surprise when the next book you choose to read turns out to be the very book you need to read at that moment.

I have had a good run of books in the past two months, the Seaside Knitters mysteries providing my favorite kind of escapist reading, and the Too Perfect and So Long, Insecurity books to deal with my pressing need for me to do things right, exacerbated by the intense pressures of not finding work and starting my own business. While I am still re-reading and practicing parts of those, along comes Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.

First published in 1994, I missed it because I was not thinking of writing again, at least not beyond the library journals that published my articles on young adult services. Fast forward to last year, when I took writing classes at the local bookstore over the summer. Fired up with enthusiasm for the essays I used to love to write, I sent off several to magazines, and heard not a peep. Early this spring, I sent off a detailed proposal for an article to a local magazine, and I was so sure it was a perfect fit. Normally I don't have that level of confidence, but this time I truly felt like I'd done my homework and had a good chance at publication. I did not receive so much as the returned SASE saying "no thank you." Needless to say, my enthusiasm for writing since then has been like the wayward balloon that gets caught in the top of a tree, and the now-deflated rubber bit hangs lifeless at the end of the ribbon, swaying in the breeze.

I picked up Bird by Bird from my shelves because a reviewer somewhere recommended it in their review of the Too Perfect book, noting that it dealt with perfectionism in writing. Why not, I thought, and began. I'm not even half way through this book, and already I have found someone who understands, and it is comforting:

From "Short Assignments:"

What I do at this point, as the panic mounts and the jungle drums begin beating and I realize that the well has run dry and that my future is behind me and I'm going to have to get a job only I'm completely unemployable (I am so there!!!!), is to stop. First, I try to breathe, because I'm either sitting there panting like a lapdog or I'm unintentionally making slow asthmatic death rattles...After a moment I may notice that I'm trying to decide whether or not I am too old for orthodontia and whether right now would be a good time to make a few calls, and then I start to think about learning to use makeup...and then I think about all the people I should have called back before I sat down to work, and how I should probably at least check in with my agent and tell him this great idea I have and see if he thinks it's a good idea, and see if he thinks I need orthodontia...

And if that wasn't enough to endear me to Ms. Lamott, there is this:

From "Perfectionism:"

Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life...I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.

...It's easier [breaking through perfectionism] if you believe in God, but not impossible if you don't. If you believe, then this God of yours might be capable of relieving you of some of this perfectionism. Still, one of the most annoying things about God is that he never just touches you with his magic wand, like Glinda the Good, and gives you what you want...but he might give you the courage or the stamina to write lots and lots of terrible first drafts, and then you'd learn that good second drafts can spring from these, and you'd see that big sloppy imperfect messes have value...

I have a terrible first draft, from NaNoWriMo. I haven't looked at it since November. Perhaps God and Anne Lamott will give me the courage to get it out sometime and try for that good second draft?

Comments

[Beth]

Perfectionism is definitely a bad thing. It keeps us from doing things, whether it's writing, changing careers, or decorating a home. But it's so easy to get drawn into. Great post!

[Kara]

It is wonderful to hear exactly what you need to hear at the right time. Keep up the writing!

[Sheepish Annie]

It's always so cool when the right words find us at the right times! When the inspiration strikes, I'll bet you find the way back to your draft. And it'll be like you never left.

Tellya what. I promise to finish editing my NANOWRIMO piece instead of just thinking about it. We'll finish them up and be published together!

[Pam]

Go, go, go!

[=Tamar]

Have you phoned or written to enquire about your proposal? I mention this because of the recent news story about the postman whose house held 20,000 pieces of undelivered mail. One of them may have been either your proposal or a response. Even if he wasn't where your mail goes, he is not the only example, just the most recent one who was found out.